restless

times like these....i am so restless...exhausted with no knowledge of why. so very restless. reading gives me some reprieve, at least it captures my thoughts for a moment. but i feel so sad. no estoy contenta adonde estoy en mi vida en este momento y no se porque. i so want to escape. only i don't quite know to where. leaving will not change my heart, will not soothe my soul. i fill my days with doing because when i am alone and quite my soul is not. it is more likely tortured by thoughts, by beratements to myself of what i should be doing, what i am doing wrong and what i should change. someone once told me that insecruties are when you can not look at yourself and be happy with what you see. when you don't like who you are.
the end for today. i'm going to escape into a movie for now. continue these ponderings later.