las cosas q pasen

forever i am reminded of the tenacity of those who are continually brought down by life. of those who are hit over and over again by storms so strong they intimidate even hope. why must this world be so hard? why must our minds be buffeted so that we are worn down, confused and crying?

tonight

so goes another day. and another day does my heart break. constantly i feel a tug of constant conviction, of restelessness to do something to change this mad world i live in. will i one day have to die for my beliefs? will one day i be able to proclaim the truth, and, in some way, see justice come about? will my tears and my questions produce life-altering effects, those which i cannot yet see?
i can only hope. pray. and believe.

quote

"It is better to die on one's feet than to live on one's knees." ~Braveheart~

oops

well, i am supposed to be planning and organizing for my week but instead i find myself glued to my computer, reading blogs and trying to create one of my own. any suggestions would be fgreat:) although i doubt anyone but me will read this for awhile yet.
ok, i am going to go be responsible now and then come back and add some poetry to this thing.
besos!

"For He has made an everlasting covenant with me, Ordered in all things, and secured; for all my salvation and all my desire, Will He not indeed make it grow?" II Samuel 23:5

I am at such a place where I cannot escape. Nor do I want to.

4:37 PM
must i forever behave accordingly to that which is around me? must i conform? must i mold myself to the liking of the eyes that do not really see? to the souls that have never thrived, never flourished with the yearnings for something more? must i suppress my longings? must i be mute lest they silence me themselves? i must forbid myself to hide from the scorn, to run from the hurt. rather, i must embrace it, and so, let it change me as i proclaim my stand. i shall not wither.

restless

times like these....i am so restless...exhausted with no knowledge of why. so very restless. reading gives me some reprieve, at least it captures my thoughts for a moment. but i feel so sad. no estoy contenta adonde estoy en mi vida en este momento y no se porque. i so want to escape. only i don't quite know to where. leaving will not change my heart, will not soothe my soul. i fill my days with doing because when i am alone and quite my soul is not. it is more likely tortured by thoughts, by beratements to myself of what i should be doing, what i am doing wrong and what i should change. someone once told me that insecruties are when you can not look at yourself and be happy with what you see. when you don't like who you are.
the end for today. i'm going to escape into a movie for now. continue these ponderings later.

san juan del sur in nicaragua